As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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