Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
