i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
