Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
