I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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