So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
