I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
