what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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