Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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