Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
