yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
