Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
