I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
