We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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