on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
