he wants to bone in the snuggie
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My penis needs a shock collar
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
