It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize