so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
