I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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