I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize