they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I think my moral compass just broke
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
