Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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