i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
