Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
