Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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