well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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