so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
This baby is an asshole
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
