she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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