So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
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