Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
