I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
