"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
