listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
