I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
