well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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