I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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