ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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