If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
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