How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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