I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
