dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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