He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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