An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
