I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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