Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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