yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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