And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
