Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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