is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
