Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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