Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize