I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize