yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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