Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
