fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The air was thick with penises
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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