We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
