I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
