I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
