I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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