spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize